There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
