Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
