bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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