well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I am naked and annoyed.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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