$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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