Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
