Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
a search helicopter?!
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
