Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Come on in and take your pants off
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