party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
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