just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
