I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
