Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
