It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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