so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize