I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
