Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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