If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
