He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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