And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
