she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize