Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
