I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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