i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
