one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
