i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
