just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
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