She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize