i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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