And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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