how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
