i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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