The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
