so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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