My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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