Apparently you make a good broom.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
