hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
