the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
