you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
How naked do you want me to be?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
