tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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