North Korea, Best Korea!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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