Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
