don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
