I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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