We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
