You're so nebulous sometimes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
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