Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
