it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
