I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
