you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
