you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
