if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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