Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
