well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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