Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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