I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
