We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
