I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Mom said you looked used
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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