Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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