now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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