he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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