Jerry, you need to find god
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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