if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
