My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
