pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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