I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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