have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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