your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
jump out the window naked night went bad
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
