Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
