Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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