Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Randomize
