32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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