Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
