Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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