tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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